FunCorner

In a biology class room for fifth grade kids, their teacher put a question - Which body part grows ten times larger when stimulated?

The class was silent as no one could think of the answer. After a few minutes, a little girl stood up in and said, “You should be ridiculous to put such a question to kids like us. I’ll tell my parents about this and they will talk to the principal and he will take care of you”

However, the teacher simple ignored her, looked away and said, “Can any one answer this question?”

The little girl was irked by this behavior and said to her benchmate in a rather loud voice, “The mistress is buying some trouble”

The teacher still ignored her and looked at the class for an answer when a little guy in the class stood up and hesitatingly said, “The pupil of the eye”

The teacher was impressed by the correct answer and appreciated the young kid.

She then looked at the young girl and said, “I have three things to tell you. First of all, you did not read the homework I gave you yesterday. Secondly, you have a dirty mind and lastly, after you grow up, you will be highly disappointed!”

[classroom joke, dirty comedy, sex joke]

One day, Little Johnny was told by his neighboring teenage friend that all adults keep some weird secrets and that adults can be blackmailed by saying the magic phrase, “I know the fact”, though you know nothing about them.

Johnny wanted to try this and so approached his father and said, “I know the fact”. His father was surprised and immediately gave him a $50 bill and asked not to talk to anyone about it. Johnny was amused by the result and went out to spend the money he earned.

The following month, he went to his mom and said, “I know the fact”. His mom was shocked and immediately hands him a $20 bill and asks him to go to his friends place. Johhnny once again spends the money at his will.

The following week, Johnny sees his milk man at the entrance and uses his magic phrase, “I know the fact”

To Johnny’s surprise, the milkman was elated on hearing these words, dropped his milk can, fell on his knees and said, “Great! Come and give your real father a hug!”

[relations joke, johnny comedy]

An artist has put his paintings for exhibition in a popular exhibit for sale. However, he did not get the expected price and so could not sell them. After a few months, he went back to the organizers of the exhibit to find out if the paintings were sold at the price he desired. The organizers told him that they have one good news and another bad news for him.

The organizers said that a few days back a man came to the exhibit and inquired if the value of these paintings will increase after the painter is dead. After learning that paintings value appreciates after the painter is dead, the patron has bought all the paintings for a decent sum.

The bad news is that the person who bought the paintings is your family doctor!

[doctor joke, artist comedy]

There were a group of constructor workers of which one man was well built and toooo strong. He was arrogant and always boasted of his strength and had this habit of insulting his co-workers. One of his co-workers is an old man who was a specific target for this braggart who left no chance to bully the old man.

After quite some time, the old man finally lost his cool and said to the braggart, “Why don’t you keep your mouth shut? Well, if you really believe that you are strong, lets go for a challenge and I’ll bet my one week wages”

The ’strong’ guy was surprised and immediately accepted the challenge and asked what he had to do. The old man said, “I’ll put something in this wheelbarrow and take it to the next building and I challenge that you can not bring it back in the wheelbarrow”

The braggart immediately accepted the challenge. So the old man brought a wheelbarrow, prepared himself for the challenge and said, “Okay! Now come and get in this”

[old man joke, braggart comedy, smart joke]

In Jeresy, it is the time of heavy snowfall. One morning, as a couple is having their breakfast, there was an announcement in the radio that there is an expected snowfall of 7-8 inches and thus requesting everyone to park their cars to the left of the road so that the snow plough can go through. On listening to this announcement, the lady went out and moved the car and parked it to the left of the road.

A week later, as the couple is having their breakfast, there is another announcement in the radio that there is an expected snowfall of 10-11 inch and this requesting everyone to park their cars to the right of the road to give way to the snow plough. The lady went out and moved her car to the right of the road.

Another week passed by and as the couple is having their dinner, there was again the same announcement, this time saying that there will be heavy snowfall of 15-16 inch and thus everyone should park their cars to the….. The power went off the and lady couldn’t listen to the announcement.

The lady was worried as to where the park the car this time. She looked towards her husband and asked him what she should do. The husband looked at his blonde wife and with an assuring voice said, “I guess, you should leave the car in the garage this time!”

[garage joke, parking comedy, blonde joke]

A teacher entered a classroom with a rose placed in her cleavage. As soon as she entered the class she told the kids that she would conduct a quiz in Biology and asked the class to get prepared. After the class got ready, she asked her first question.

Teacher: What is the source of nutrients for a rose?

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated to let him answer, but she had no choice.

Johnny:  A rose draws its nutrients from Milk.

Teacher: You are wrong Johnny. Rose draws its nutrients from Water.

Johnny: Is it? I din’t know that the stem was so long.

[Little johny joke, classroom comedy, teacher joke]

A man lost his way in a huge desert and was there in the lonely desert for ten years without seeing a single human. The man got used to living alone in a desert and stopped trying to get out of the desert. After ten long years, a beautiful blonde who is researching on deserts finds this man in the desert and after observing him for some time realizes that the man lives in this lonely desert.

She feels sorry for the man and approaches him and asks him how long it has been since he smoked a cigarette.  The man replied that he never saw a cigarette for the last ten years. The blonde then, unzipped the right arm of her dress and out came a pack of cigarettes. She handed the pack and a lighter to the man who enjoyed the smoke after thanking her.

The lady, then asked him how long it has been since he had a drink. The man replied its been ten years and wondered if the lady has one. Sure enough, the blonde unzipped the wight arm of her dress and pulled out a whisky bottle and handed it to the man. The man took a long swallow and looked thankfully at the lady for all that she has done.

The blonde then asked the man how long it had been since he had ultimate fun in his life. Saying so, she started unzipping her dress in the front and getting naked.

The man said, “Wait! Don’t say that you have golf courts there”

[ultimate fun joke, men comedy]

Little Johnny’s mother visited their home one day. Johnny went to the lady and started asking her some strange questions. Their conversation went as follows.

Johhny: Aunty! What is your age?

Aunty: Johnny! This is not a question to ask a lady.

Johnny: Thats ok. How much do you weigh?

Aunty: You should never ask a lady questions like these, Johnny!

Johnny: Ohh… Can you atleast tell me if you are good in bed with Uncle?

Aunty: Johnny! Just go away. Why do you ask such stupid questions?

Johnny left the place and came back to Aunty after a few hours and said,

Johnny: Aunty! Though you did not answer my questions I found the answers to all the questions.

Aunty: What?

Johnny: Yes. Your age is 35, right?

Aunty: Yes and how do you know that?

Johnny: I also know your weight. Your weight is 135 pounds.

Aunty: Okay. Stop it and tell me how you know all this?

Johnny: Here it is. I found your driving license and it has your age, weight. See here. It also explains that you are not good in bed with uncle. You got an ‘F’ grade in Sex.

[Johnny jokes, johnny aunty comedy, little johhny comedy]

Little Johnny was playing in the garden when a swarm of honey bees entered his kingdom. Johnny waited for some time but after some time lost his patience. He picked up a baseball bat and started crushing the bees with his bat. Johnny’s father looked at this aggressive behavior of Johnny. His father looked at him for some time and said, “Ok. No Honey for you for a month”, and walked away.

A few months later, Johnny was again playing in the garden and being spring time there were many butterflies in the garden. The psycho in Johnny woke up and he started stomping the butterflies. His father saw this, reached Johnny and said, “Ok. No butter for one month”

A few days later, Johnny was with his mom in the Kitchen. His mom saw a few cockroaches in a the kitchen. She freaked out on the sight of them and started stomping the cockroaches. Johnny looked at this father and said, “Will you tell her or should I tell her”

[little johnny joke, dirty comedy, butterfly joke]

 An old couple were celebrating their 50th marriage anniversary and so the husband wanted to gift his wife something romantic. So, he purchased a see-through night gown for $250.

The old couple celebrated their 50th marriage anniversary and after the guests left, the man presented his wife a see-through night gown. The lady entered her room, undressed herself to wear the see-through gown presented by her husband. Then, she realized that she forgot the gown downstairs. So, she started walking down the steps naked, to get the gown.

Her husband saw the lady walking down the steps and said, “My God! I paid them $250 for this gown and they did not even iron it. Its so wrinkled!”

[old couple joke, husband wife comedy]