FunCorner

There was an Elephant and a Camel standing next to each other.
The Elephant stares for a sec and asks, “Why is your boobs on your back?”

The camel waited for a sec and replied “The same reason your dicks on your face”.

On one fine sunny day out in the Caribbean, Captain Jack was informed by his lookout that there were 3 Pirate ships spotted about 10 miles out. The Captain turned to his First Mate and said, “Go fetch me my red pants.”

The Captain then informed the crew that they were going to fight the Pirates and that this would most likely be a bloody battle.

The crew and the Pirates meet and do battle and the Captain and his crew are victorious with only three dead and fifteen wounded out of his crew of one hundred. As the crew is celebrating with their Captain, the First Mate asks him, “Sir, why did you wear your red pants for that battle?”

The Captain responds, “I wore them so that if I were to get injured in battle, no one would notice and would continue fighting.” The crew is amazed that their Captain is so noble and make a toast for long life to their Captain.

The next day, the lookout informs the Captain that he has spotted over fifty Pirate ships about ten miles out. The Captain turns to his First Mate and calmly says, “Go fetch my brown pants.”

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors had a telephone network more than one hundred years ago.Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed an archaeologist in California dug to a depth of 20 feet. Shortly afterwards headlines in the LA Times read: ‘California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire, and have concluded that their ancestors had an advanced high-tech communications network 100 years earlier than the New Yorkers.’One week later, theTimes Picayune, a local newspaper in New Orleans, reported the following: ‘After digging as deep as 30 feet in his sugar cane field near Bayou Black, in Houma, LA. Boudreaux, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Boudreaux has therefore concluded that 300 years ago Louisiana had already gone wireless.

Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason.He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he tryto touch them, but he had to try.One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatiothe Physician, the King’s chief doctor.. Horatio thought about this andsaid that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, butit would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it.Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme.The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured alittle bit into the Queen’s bra while she bathed.Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident,Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, ifapplied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that testshad shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote tocure the itch.The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to theirchambers.. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itchingpowder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours,Nick worked passionately on the Queen’s large and magnificent breasts.The Queen’s itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied andhailed as a hero.Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding hispayment of 1000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn’thave cared less knowing that Horatio could never report this matter tothe King and with a laugh told him to get lost.The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itchingpowder into the King’s underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick.The moral of the story - Pay your bloody bills !!!